Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is a devotee?
A: A devotee is someone who sexually attracted to a person with a disability. Devotees all have different ideas about what they find attractive. Some are only interested in spinal cord injuries, for instance, while others are attracted to any kind of physical disability. We are not interested in children or developmentally disabled adults.
Q: What causes a person to become a devotee?
A: There are a lot of theories, from the genetic (you're born with it) to the psychological (something that you experienced as a child triggered this reaction). None of them have been proven. Many devotees report being aware of their feelings since early childhood. Some devotees can pinpoint a trigger, such as having a disabled family member, while others can't name any specific cause. In asking this question, however, it's important to remember that we still don't really understand what causes any type of sexual attraction. Why are some people gay? Why do some people prefer a certain hair color? Until these questions can be answered there will be no answer for devotees either. It seems likely that there is no single cause, and people become devotees through a variety of reasons. The one similarity is that we do not decide to become devotees; it just happens.
Q: Are devotees sick?
A: No. While it's unusual in our society to find disabilities attractive, it is not wrong to be physically attracted to a consenting adult for whatever reason. The desire itself is just there. What you choose to do with it is another question. A few devotees have been known to engage in unethical behavior, such as stalking, but that does not mean the desire itself is at fault.
Many devotees feel intense shame and guilt, but this is not necessary. We feel shame for having desires that are not "normal" and guilt for finding pleasure in others' misfortunes. But we did not cause the disability, nor do we wish it on anyone. Devotees are also sometimes accused of seeing only the disability and not the whole person. We can't deny that this sometimes happens, but most devotees say they are interested in the whole person. Having an intense physical attraction to someone does not preclude the possibility of also having an intense emotional relationship with that same person. Also, as intelligent adults, disabled people can choose whether or not they want to have a relationship with a devotee. If a disabled person is not comfortable with the idea of devotees, they are free to ignore us. However, we are also free to indulge in our fantasies.
Q: Where does the word "devotee" come from?
A: We're not sure who invented it, but it was clearly an effort to make the attraction seem more positive. Older terms like "disability paraphelia" imply psychological illness, and many people are uncomfortable using the term "fetish." It used to be called "the hobby" or "the fascination" which make it seem more ordinary, less threatening. In the past few years there has been explosion of websites, and this term just stuck.
Q: I'm a devotee. How can I meet the disabled person of my dreams?
Q: I'm a person with a disability. How can I meet a sexy devotee?
A: This page is not set up for networking, but you can try signing the guestbook and leaving your email address. Someone might write back to you, but we take no responsibility in any way. Try getting onto one of the listservs or some of the other discussion sites on our links page. One of the hardest things about being a devotee is meeting the right person, since the dating pool is relatively small. You just have to make more of an effort.
Q: What about pretenders and wannabes?
A: This is a much more controversial issue, and one that we are not going to take up at this time. See our links page for pretender and wannabe pages.
Q: What is the purpose of this website?
A: This website is primarily for devotees of disabled men. We would like this site to be a resource for devotees, a place to enjoy stories about our favorite subject, and find more information about books, movies and other sites that may be of interest. Many devotees are obsessive by nature, and we would like this site to be a safe, enjoyable outlet for that obsession.
Q: Where are the stories about disabled women?
A: There are TONS of sites for devotees of disabled women. This is one of the few sites dedicated to devotees of disabled men.
Q: How come you don't have any stories about______? (fill in the blank: leg braces, a certain movie, etc.)
A: The stories we write reflect our own personal interests and besides, there's only so much we can do in our spare time. If you have a specific fantasy you'd like to read about, why not write it down and send it to us? If we like it, we'll post it. Also, if you have a book, movie or TV show you'd like to tell us about, please write. This site will only be as good as you help to make it. Send all submissions to: paradevo@yahoo.com.
Q: Who are you?
A: Devotees are just people like everyone else. We're your neighbor, your co-worker, your cousin, your physical therapist.
Any more questions you'd like answered? Email paradevo@yahoo.com
Q: What is a devotee?
A: A devotee is someone who sexually attracted to a person with a disability. Devotees all have different ideas about what they find attractive. Some are only interested in spinal cord injuries, for instance, while others are attracted to any kind of physical disability. We are not interested in children or developmentally disabled adults.
Q: What causes a person to become a devotee?
A: There are a lot of theories, from the genetic (you're born with it) to the psychological (something that you experienced as a child triggered this reaction). None of them have been proven. Many devotees report being aware of their feelings since early childhood. Some devotees can pinpoint a trigger, such as having a disabled family member, while others can't name any specific cause. In asking this question, however, it's important to remember that we still don't really understand what causes any type of sexual attraction. Why are some people gay? Why do some people prefer a certain hair color? Until these questions can be answered there will be no answer for devotees either. It seems likely that there is no single cause, and people become devotees through a variety of reasons. The one similarity is that we do not decide to become devotees; it just happens.
Q: Are devotees sick?
A: No. While it's unusual in our society to find disabilities attractive, it is not wrong to be physically attracted to a consenting adult for whatever reason. The desire itself is just there. What you choose to do with it is another question. A few devotees have been known to engage in unethical behavior, such as stalking, but that does not mean the desire itself is at fault.
Many devotees feel intense shame and guilt, but this is not necessary. We feel shame for having desires that are not "normal" and guilt for finding pleasure in others' misfortunes. But we did not cause the disability, nor do we wish it on anyone. Devotees are also sometimes accused of seeing only the disability and not the whole person. We can't deny that this sometimes happens, but most devotees say they are interested in the whole person. Having an intense physical attraction to someone does not preclude the possibility of also having an intense emotional relationship with that same person. Also, as intelligent adults, disabled people can choose whether or not they want to have a relationship with a devotee. If a disabled person is not comfortable with the idea of devotees, they are free to ignore us. However, we are also free to indulge in our fantasies.
Q: Where does the word "devotee" come from?
A: We're not sure who invented it, but it was clearly an effort to make the attraction seem more positive. Older terms like "disability paraphelia" imply psychological illness, and many people are uncomfortable using the term "fetish." It used to be called "the hobby" or "the fascination" which make it seem more ordinary, less threatening. In the past few years there has been explosion of websites, and this term just stuck.
Q: I'm a devotee. How can I meet the disabled person of my dreams?
Q: I'm a person with a disability. How can I meet a sexy devotee?
A: This page is not set up for networking, but you can try signing the guestbook and leaving your email address. Someone might write back to you, but we take no responsibility in any way. Try getting onto one of the listservs or some of the other discussion sites on our links page. One of the hardest things about being a devotee is meeting the right person, since the dating pool is relatively small. You just have to make more of an effort.
Q: What about pretenders and wannabes?
A: This is a much more controversial issue, and one that we are not going to take up at this time. See our links page for pretender and wannabe pages.
Q: What is the purpose of this website?
A: This website is primarily for devotees of disabled men. We would like this site to be a resource for devotees, a place to enjoy stories about our favorite subject, and find more information about books, movies and other sites that may be of interest. Many devotees are obsessive by nature, and we would like this site to be a safe, enjoyable outlet for that obsession.
Q: Where are the stories about disabled women?
A: There are TONS of sites for devotees of disabled women. This is one of the few sites dedicated to devotees of disabled men.
Q: How come you don't have any stories about______? (fill in the blank: leg braces, a certain movie, etc.)
A: The stories we write reflect our own personal interests and besides, there's only so much we can do in our spare time. If you have a specific fantasy you'd like to read about, why not write it down and send it to us? If we like it, we'll post it. Also, if you have a book, movie or TV show you'd like to tell us about, please write. This site will only be as good as you help to make it. Send all submissions to: paradevo@yahoo.com.
Q: Who are you?
A: Devotees are just people like everyone else. We're your neighbor, your co-worker, your cousin, your physical therapist.
Any more questions you'd like answered? Email paradevo@yahoo.com