Ryan stared at the email on his computer screen. His hands shook and he rubbed them self-consciously against the thick braces on his legs. He looked at the address of the sender and saw that it was anonymous. He read the sentence over again, his jaw open in disbelief. He couldn’t understand who could have sent such an email, or what the person who sent it meant to do. It was vindictive and evil, that’s what it was.
If only it weren’t true.
For nearly two years now, Ryan had been confined to a wheelchair. His legs were wrapped in heavy braces and his apartment was wheelchair-accessible. He had a nice, comfy desk job, and used public transportation to get back and forth from work. He was well known in his apartment building as the friendly paraplegic who got involved in all the committees. Ryan liked to get involved. He liked to meet new people, and he liked to travel around the city in his wheelchair.
And it was all a lie.
Ryan had been obsessed with disabilities, especially those involving the legs, for his entire life. When he was a little kid, he broke his foot, and was thrilled by the amount of attention he got for his injury. Even after his foot healed up, Ryan used to walk around with his crutches until his mother took them away. In his sixth grade class, there was a blond-haired boy who was missing an arm, and Ryan began stalking him until the kid’s mother complained to the teacher.
When Ryan was a teenager, he fell in love for the first time. He had always suspected he had homosexual tendencies, but he had never really believed it until he fell hard for Ted. Ted was a double amputee, missing both legs above the knee. Ryan liked Ted a lot, but he fell in love with those beautiful round stumps. Ted wore prosthetic legs, but often got tired of crutching around and used a wheelchair instead. Ryan wasn’t sure whether he liked Ted better in the chair or on crutches.
Ryan became close friends with Ted. He wanted more out of the relationship, but he was content to just be near those stumps all the time. Then one day, in the privacy of Ted’s room, Ryan worked up the nerve to ask Ted if he could touch the stumps. Ted seemed confused at first, but then he sat down on his bed, pulled of his pants, and carefully removed his prosthetics, revealing those two perfect mounds of flesh. Ryan reached out and caressed the soft stumps, gently at first, then with a little more pressure. To his surprise, he saw a thickening in his friend’s underwear. Ryan decided to take a chance and he leaned forward and kissed Ted on the mouth. Ted kissed him back.
Ryan still remembered every sexual experience he ever had with Ted. He loved to suck Ted to completion while keeping his hands on those little stumps. Sometimes Ryan used one of the stumps to pleasure himself, then he would come onto the stump. Just the site of the stumps wiggling around was enough to get Ryan painfully hard. Ted gave in to Ryan’s pleas and stopped wearing his prosthetics altogether. He stuck to his wheelchair and often wore shorts so that passers-by could see the ends of his stumps.
Ted broke off the relationship before college. Ryan was crushed, but he could see the wisdom in this decision. They were going to college far away from one another, and Ted was really more bisexual than gay—he wanted to experiment with girls. Ryan was grateful for the experience and the short-lived happiness, and Ted was grateful that he had become more comfortable with his disability.
College was uneventful. There were very few handicapped students at his school, and none of them were very attractive. When Ryan graduated from college, he made what he thought to be the most important decision of his life: he wanted to become handicapped.
On moving to the city, Ryan bought a wheelchair and heavy leg braces. The braces were to keep his legs steady, so he wouldn’t accidentally move them. Also, he wanted the feel of being handicapped, which he had with those heavy braces that wouldn’t allow his legs to move at all, even if he wanted to. His first apartment was accessible, but difficult to get around in, so sometimes Ryan would cheat and take off the braces. But his excellent background in computers earned him a high paying job that allowed him to rent the perfectly accessible apartment he had now.
That was two years ago. Two years of heaven, really. Ryan finally felt at home in his wheelchair. He loved rolling around, and having people on the street looked this good-looking guy with his legs in heavy braces under his pants. Ryan was very handsome, with a nice face, thick hair, and a strong upper body, and often guys who weren’t attracted to his legs would fall for him anyway. However, most of the guys he went out with were devotees like he was, sexually stimulated by disabilities. Ryan went to clubs at night, and would go out in his wheelchair in the middle of the dancers. He couldn’t dance, of course, but he could roll the wheels of his chair so that he had some dance-like movement going. Usually this would attract the attention of some guy, and the night would begin.
Ryan told these men that he was a T10 paraplegic, paralyzed in a skiing accident. He said that even though he had lost most feeling below his waist, he could still feel his dick and control when he went to the bathroom. Most of them didn’t ask about the braces, but if they did, he usually made something up. Around his apartment, Ryan almost never cheated now, especially since his legs were very thin from lack of use, even though he tried to stretch them at night. He really couldn’t walk very well anymore. He asked the men if he could leave on his braces during sex, which most of them wanted him to do anyway. In fact, many of them wanted him to stay in his wheelchair while they pleasured him, which he was pretty happy with.
It was a perfect life. Ryan had everything he had ever dreamed for, at the young age of twenty-four. He could have gone on living like this for the rest of his life.
Except for this damn email.
I know you’re a phony. The words appeared before his eyes even when he looked away from the computer screen. Who knew? Somebody knew. And it wasn’t a nice somebody. The email was meant to be frightening and accusatory. It was meant to hurt him.
Ryan thought back to guys he had gone out with recently. He hadn’t been seeing anyone lately, and he was pretty sure none of his one-night-stands would do this. Besides, those guys never suspected a thing. He played the part of a paraplegic perfectly. And anyway, he had given each of them what they wanted, so they had no reason to send out an email like this.
Ryan banged his fists against the keyboard.
Well, there was no use getting upset about it now. He was going to be late for work if he didn’t get going soon. Ryan wore a suit to work, even though it wasn’t absolutely required, because he knew he looked very good in a suit. He bought pants a few sizes too big, so that they would fit over his braces.
Ryan rolled out of his apartment and the door locked automatically behind him. As he wheeled toward the elevator, he saw his neighbor Molly walking towards him. Ryan greeted Molly with a big smile as usual, but today he felt suspicious. What if Molly had sent him the mysterious email? She had always had a crush on him and maybe she was bitter.
“How are you doing, Ryan?” Molly asked. “You look a little…worried.”
“I’m fine,” Ryan said quickly. “No problem.”
“There’s a meeting of the garden committee tonight,” Molly reminded him. She tapped his shoulder.
“Right, I remember,” Ryan said. “I’ll be there, don’t worry.”
“Well, good,” Molly said with a grin. “I don’t know what the meeting would be without you.”
Ryan decided that Molly probably hadn’t been the one who sent him the email. No, she was too nice and she liked him too much. He grinned back at her. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Molly.”
Molly laughed. She entered her apartment as Ryan rolled toward the elevator. He pressed the button and waited patiently. As he often did, Ryan looked down to admire his rigid legs. They had grown so thin and beautiful lately that he couldn’t help but gaze at them.
The doors to the elevator opened, and to Ryan’s surprise, there was a man in a wheelchair inside. Besides two little old ladies, Ryan had thought he was the only wheelchair-bound tenant in the building. This guy must have been new, because Ryan knew everyone. Ryan stared at him a minute. The man was about ten years older than Ryan, but still very attractive.
“Are you coming in?” the man asked, his tone light but a little impatient.
“Yeah, of course,” Ryan said with an apologetic grin. He pushed his wheelchair into the elevator. Unfortunately, with two wheelchairs in the elevator, there wasn’t room for Ryan to turn, so he sat with his back away from the door, but facing the stranger. Impulsively, Ryan stuck out his hand. “I’m Ryan, by the way. Are you new to the building?”
“I’m Mark,” the man said. “Yeah, I’m new. I just moved in last week.” Mark took his hand and Ryan noticed that his grip lingered just a little longer than it needed to. Ryan was pleased. It had been a long time since he had been with another guy in a chair.
“Are you new to the city?” Ryan asked.
Mark nodded. “I broke my spine at T6 three years ago and I had to move back in with my folks again. I’ve been going through therapy and getting my life back on track since then. This is my first apartment since my injury.” He hesitated. “What level is your injury?”
Ryan was surprised that Mark was so open with him, but he guessed that Mark didn’t meet many handicapped people and felt that there was a strong bond between them. “I’m T10,” Ryan replied, sticking to the usual story. “I broke it back in high school, in a skiing accident. That was about…eight years ago.”
“Wow, so this is all probably second nature to you,” Mark said. “I’m still having trouble adjusting to being handicapped. I was really crushed when it first happened, and I really wanted to kill myself. I guess now I’m dealing though. Living in the city is hard. I never realized how few buildings are wheelchair-accessible.”
The elevator came to a halt. They went down the ramp to get outside one at a time. Luckily, the street was wide enough for two wheelchairs to fit, so they could wheel side-by-side.
“I don’t get depressed much,” Ryan said. “I don’t think being in a wheelchair is so bad.”
“Are you kidding?” Mark replied. “I’d give anything to be able to walk again.”
“Well, that’s because you haven’t experienced real life in a chair yet,” Ryan explained. “If you’re interested, I could show you some great clubs in the area.”
Mark grinned. “Really?”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“That’d be great,” Mark agreed. They made plans to meet up that night and Ryan was practically glowing when they separated. He had nearly forgotten about that awful email he had received.
Ryan caught the bus like he always did. The bus driver halted at his stop and Ryan wheeled over to the back entrance. It was the same driver each day, Charlie, and usually he gave Ryan a big smile, but today the smile seemed a little strained. Ryan wondered if Charlie could be the mysterious emailer, but put the thought out of his mind.
Charlie lowered the mechanical lift and Ryan rolled his chair into it. Once he was on the bus, Charlie helped direct his chair into the handicapped spot. People knew not to sit there, since Ryan always got on at this stop. After taking the same bus at the same time for two years, Ryan recognized almost everyone on the bus.
“How are you doing, Ryan?” asked a voice from behind him.
Ryan craned his neck and saw Erin behind him. Erin worked as a nurse and was usually on the same bus as Ryan. When he had first discovered her profession, he had been worried she might guess his secret, but she didn’t. Even though Erin was seven months pregnant, she struggled out of her seat and moved so that Ryan could look at her comfortably while they talked.
“I’m good,” Ryan said. “How about you?”
“The baby is kicking,” Erin said proudly. She allowed Ryan to place his hand on her stomach so that he could feel.
“That’s amazing!” Ryan exclaimed.
“I know someone who’s interested in meeting you,” Erin told him.
Ryan had told Erin he was gay, and she was constantly trying to set him up. He had taken her up on her offer once, and the guy was nice enough, but didn’t seem to be very impressed by the chair. He seemed to be just tolerating it. “That’s okay,” Ryan said. “I met someone.” He thought back to his encounter in the elevator.
“Oh, really?” Erin teased. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“Another para, like me,” Ryan told her.
“Is he as cute as you?”
“He’s adorable,” Ryan said with a grin. “I just want to get to know him a little better…”
Ryan arrived at work early as usual. Even in his wheelchair (or perhaps because of it), he got a lot of appreciative glances from women as he rolled by. Of course, he was on the lookout for the appreciative glances from men, which were somewhat more unusual, but still pretty common. Ryan met men all the time, no matter where he was. He seemed to have some sort of magnet that attracted men to him, and he liked to think it was his chair.
Ryan got to his desk and logged on to his computer. He did work for a little while, shifting in his seat every so often to relieve the pressure on his legs. Because he wasn’t actually a paraplegic, Ryan had a lot of pain from sitting on his legs all day, so he did what he could to shift his weight. Legs weren’t meant to be sat on all time.
Ryan didn’t expect to find a message when he checked his email. But there it was, plain as day: You are a phony cripple and I’m going to expose you.
He quickly closed the email, terrified someone around him had seen it. It was the second one in only a few hours—whoever sent this meant business. He typed in an anxious reply: Who are you?
The answer came almost instantly. I’m a concerned party. I don’t like phonies.
All day, the anonymous person harassed Ryan with emails. He stopped replying to them, but they continued to come. Each one accused him of being a terrible person and threatened to expose him. Eventually, Ryan stopped checking his email, because he couldn’t take it anymore.
Ryan’s nerves were shot by the time he got home. He had to stay late at work, doing a project, but he could barely concentrate. He was shocked when he had just changed into casual clothes for the evening and the doorbell rang.
Ryan quickly rolled over to the door and used his automatic button to open it. He saw Mark sitting in his chair and his face paled. “Oh, shit,” he said. “I’m sorry, Mark, I completely forgot you were coming.”
Mark’s eyes widened. “Are you okay? If this is a bad time…”
“No, it’s fine,” Ryan said quickly. “Come in. I’m sort of stressed right now and having some company might be just what I need.”
Mark smiled and rolled his chair inside. He glanced around the apartment quickly. “Nice place.”
“Thanks,” Ryan said. “I’m not much of a decorator, but I do what I can.”
Mark looked down at Ryan’s legs. He was wearing shorts, since it was hot outside, and his thin legs covered with heavy braces were exposed. Next to wearing a suit, Ryan loved to wear shorts, so that he could show off his legs and braces. “Why do you wear braces?” Mark asked.
That was the problem with dating a guy in a chair. The phony excuses didn’t sound so real. “They keep my legs in place,” Ryan explained. “I get a lot of muscle spasms and they keep my legs from jumping all over the place. Also, they help me when I want to transfer out of my chair.”
Mark nodded. He bought it. “I haven’t worked up the nerve yet to wear shorts.”
“Don’t be ashamed of your legs,” Ryan advised. “Be proud of them!” It was what he always used to say to Ted.
Mark tried to smile.
“Let me cook you some dinner,” Ryan offered.
“You can cook?” Mark asked, surprised.
“A little,” Ryan said. “I bought an accessible stove, so I figured I ought to give it a shot, huh?”
The two men went to the kitchen together. It felt very natural having Mark around. Ryan liked disabled men and he liked being disabled, so having both was the best thing he could imagine. For a moment, he allowed himself to picture what it would be like to have Mark here every night. Two handicapped guys in love, living together. Of course, Ryan wasn’t even completely sure that Mark was gay, but he was getting some pretty strong vibes.
As Ryan cooked, Mark watched, mesmerized. He seemed surprised at how easily Ryan was able to get around in the kitchen. “After eight years, you’ll have the hang of it too,” Ryan told him.
They sat down together at the table to eat. They sat side-by-side, stuffing spaghetti into their mouths, and talking.
“When do you get used to it?” Mark asked.
“Used to what?” Ryan wanted to know.
“Being in this…chair,” Mark said.
Ryan shrugged. “It’s different for everyone. I got used to it pretty fast. Then again, I was pretty young when I got my injury.”
“Are you incontinent?” Mark asked.
“No,” Ryan replied. “I guess I’m pretty lucky. My injury was low enough that I still have sensation down there.”
When he said that, Ryan felt Mark’s hand on his knee. He tried to pretend that he didn’t notice, because he wasn’t supposed to be able to feel his knee. Mark’s hand moved back and forth, exploring the skin between the braces.
“I’m a pretty outgoing guy too,” Ryan went on casually. “So I’m pretty good at putting people at ease with me. Not everyone can do that.”
“I’m very shy,” Mark said.
“That makes it harder.”
Mark’s hand was higher up his leg now, on his thigh. Ryan couldn’t pretend not to notice, since Mark was visibly leaning forward to reach this goal. Mark’s eyes were wide and a little scared as he caressed the skin just below Ryan’s crotch. Ryan was silent and Mark’s hand moved upward and touched Ryan’s penis.
“You’re hard,” Mark noted.
“Yeah,” Ryan said.
Mark began rubbing Ryan’s swollen organ. He thought he was going to come right now, just from seeing Mark touching him. He swallowed and tried to hold back.
“It feels pretty big,” Mark commented. “Must be nearly nine inches, I’d guess.”
Ryan nodded, unable to speak.
“I’d love to get it in my mouth,” Mark said. His face flushed when he said the words.
Ryan grinned. He backed away from the table and saw that he was indeed quite huge. He pulled down his shorts, which took some effort from the chair. Luckily, he wasn’t wearing underwear, so his large penis sprang right out. “Can you reach it like this?” he asked.
“Hell, I think I can reach it from my apartment,” Mark teased.
Mark put the brakes on his chair, then leaned forward and went to work. The image of a guy in a chair sucking him off was so intense, that Ryan had to bite his lip to keep from screaming. Ted had given him head from his wheelchair, but not while Ryan was in a chair too. This was the most amazing thing he had ever experienced. Ryan shot his load into Mark’s mouth, and Mark swallowed it down greedily.
“That was great,” Ryan breathed. “I really enjoyed that.”
“That makes two of us,” Mark said with a grin.
Mark and Ryan spent the rest of the night together. Mark couldn’t feel his penis, but often it would grow hard anyway, and Ryan wasted no time in getting it in his mouth. They stayed in their chairs as long as they could, but eventually had to transfer to the bed. They kissed and Ryan fucked Mark twice. This was logistically pretty hard to do, and it involved Ryan removing his braces, which he felt uncomfortable about. But he had a lot of practice not moving his legs, so it worked out okay. It wasn’t quite as good being in bed as in the chair, but the thought that Mark couldn’t feel anything on his lower body was a big turn-on.
Immediately after the second round of sex, Ryan put his braces back on. Mark turned to watch him, an amused look on his face. “Why do you like to have those braces on? They look really bulky and uncomfortable.”
“They are,” Ryan admitted. “But it’s really embarrassing when I get a spasm. Plus I’m terrible at getting back into my chair without them. My paralysis is low enough that they provide me with enough support to stand while holding on to something.” That was his story and he was sticking to it.
“They’re kind of sexy, actually,” Mark said with a grin.
“Really? I think so too.”
Mark laughed and ran his hand along Ryan’s chest. “You know, this was just what I needed.”
“It was amazing.”
“We should do this again sometime.”
“Yes, we should. Sometime soon.”
“How about tomorrow?”
Ryan’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
Mark laughed. “You’re such a kid. Of course, tomorrow.”
Ryan was so happy, he almost cried.