Taking care of James has become like second nature to me. I moved in with James a little over three months ago. To some people, that seemed too sudden. We didn’t care what they thought. The bond that we share has remained intact.
I wake him every morning with a kiss. This morning was harder on him than usual. He woke up coughing. His body tightens in spasms with each forceful cough. I hate to see his face wince in pain. He finally cleared his throat enough to be able to take a deep breath. I sat next to him in our bed and helped him roll over to his side. I held him up and did my best to massage his back and legs. The fact that he sleeps naked made the massage much easier.
Our morning routine takes about an hour. I get up each morning and stretch the muscles in his legs and arms. He has no control over the movement of his legs so I get kicked a whole lot! I have not yet mastered the art of dodging his kicks. Next, I unhook his night drainage bag. He wears a condom catheter on his penis to prevent any accidents. During the day, the condom catheter is connected to a small bag that is attached to his calf using Velcro.
Every other day we have to clean out his bowels. This can be a little tricky on some days. He used to be able to empty his bowels by himself. His disease has progressed and he doesn’t have much control over his arms. He can move them, but his hands are in a constant spasm. Now, I put a pad underneath his butt while he lies in bed on his side propped up nicely with pillows. I put a suppository into his rectum. If the “silver bullet” doesn’t work I use a gloved finger with lube to stimulate his bowels. It isn’t the most fun part of either one of our days, but it has to be done. I clean it all up and wipe him off with baby wipes.
By this time, James is usually ready for a nice shower. I roll his lift next to the bed. After wrestling with the sling, I finally get it underneath his naked body. The transfer from bed to the shower seat can be a pain in the ass sometimes, especially if his legs are in a spasm.
This morning’s transfer was fairly smooth. I got him into the shower and helped him wash his body. He looked so damn sexy sitting there today. I smiled at him and he poked the dimple on my left cheek. Even though his fingers curl up most of the time, I love when he brushes my face with the back of his hand. That was all it took for me! Two seconds later, I was naked and in the shower with him.