It was supposed to be a tutoring session.
Dr. “Call Me Ivan” Petrova was supposed to be tutoring Brian in early American literature. Brian sat across the table from Ivan, trying to concentrate on what his professor was saying. They were seated in an outdoor café, enjoying cups of coffee reputed to be the best in Boston. Brian was having a lot of trouble even concentrating on his coffee with the way Ivan was looking at him. Brian found himself returning the look.
“Enjoying the view?” Ivan asked him.
Brian smiled. He felt the full extent of Ivan’s gaze on his face and shifted in his seat. Nobody had ever looked at him like that in his whole life. “Uh, what do you mean?” Brian asked nervously.
Ivan took a long sip of his coffee and closed his notebook. “You’re very attractive, Brian.”
“Thank you,” Brian murmured.
“I’m not just saying that,” Ivan went on. “I think you’re the most attractive man I’ve ever met in my life. You have a certain…something. I don’t know what it is.”
“My proficiency with early American literature,” Brian answered with a grin.
“This isn’t a joke,” Ivan said in a low voice. Brian suppressed a gasp as he felt Ivan’s hand slide up his leg. A moment later, his hand had descended on Brian’s penis, which had become hard as rock. “You like this. I know you do.”
“You’re right,” Brian replied. He moaned softly as Ivan’s hands did their magic.
“I could make you come right here, right now,” Ivan told him. He raised his eyebrows suggestively.
“Do it,” Brian ordered.
The two men sat in the café, pretending to drink their coffees as Ivan slowly brought Brian to climax. Brian leaned forward in his seat, clutching his hair with bunched up fingers, trying not to cry out with pleasure. Ivan unzipped his pants so that when he came, it squirted down onto the bare pavement.
“That was amazing,” Brian breathed, zipping up his pants. He glanced around him and saw that several people had been watching the performance, but he didn’t give a shit.
“I want to fuck you,” Ivan said matter-of-factly.
“Okay,” Brian agreed.
“Let’s get out of here,” Ivan said. He threw some money on the table to cover their bill, then they stood up. Impulsively, Ivan reached out and stroked Brian’s chest. Brian gazed back at him with such lust that Ivan couldn’t help pulling him close and shoving his tongue down the younger man’s throat. It was something Ivan knew he shouldn’t do in public—he could have gotten in a lot of trouble and he had never even kissed his wife in public. But he had never been seized by such a powerful urge before in his life. For once, Ivan didn’t care who was watching. Let them stare.
When the kiss ended, Ivan and Brian were both shaking. Brian clung to Ivan’s shoulders. “Fuck me,” he begged. “Fuck me now.”
They went to a hotel with the intention of fucking, but they wound up making love. Ivan had been married for thirty years, but he had never before felt such tenderness as he did toward this eighteen-year-old boy.
Ivan stood a safe distance away, watching. Brian and that red-haired girl were holding hands. The girl was gazing at him like she thought he was a god, and she was hanging on his every word. He bent down and kissed her gently on the lips and Ivan could tell she was receiving an invitation upstairs. She accepted.
Ivan’s face burned. He knew Brian liked girls, but he thought perhaps what the two of them had done together had made him forget all that. He didn’t want to share Brian with any pretty redheads. He remembered last night, when Brian ran his tongue up and down Ivan’s rock hard dick and Ivan nearly said the words: I love you. Ivan had said those words many times to Anna, but this would have been the first time he meant it.
Ivan made up his mind. He entered Brian’s dorm and walked up the five flights of stairs to his room. Lucky thing Ivan was in good shape. He pounded on the door persistently until Brian threw it open, his hair tousled and his shirt missing.
“Jesus, Ivan,” Brian muttered. “I’m kind of in the middle of something.”
“Who are you with?” Ivan demanded.
Brian grinned. “Her name is Jessica. Really something, huh?”
“Stop seeing her.”
“What?” Brian laughed. “You’re not serious.”
“I am very serious.”
“No,” Brian said. “I like Jessica. I want to keep fucking her.” He shook his head. “Shit, what’s wrong with you?”
Ivan leaned forward and grabbed Brian. He pulled the younger man’s body close to his own and pressed their lips together. The kiss lasted an eternity and Ivan felt himself grow hard. “Stop seeing her,” he repeated.
“Get rid of Anna,” Brian retorted. “Get rid of Anna and I won’t fuck anyone except you.”
“You know I can’t get rid of Anna,” Ivan said.
“Well, then you’re in no position to bargain, I guess.” Brian frowned. “Jessica is waiting for me. I have to go.”
“I want to suck your dick,” Ivan said. “Now.”
Brian’s eyes widened. He glanced back at the room where Jessica was waiting. Jessica was really hot and he had been thinking about fucking her all day. Then again, there was something about Ivan. His desire for Ivan was far beyond anything he had ever felt for another person. “Okay,” Brian agreed. “Wait here. I…I’ll tell Jessica that you’re my professor and we have a meeting.”
Ivan smiled. He watched Brian run off to talk to Jessica. When she emerged, her face was flushed with embarrassment and irritation. She nodded at Ivan. “Nice to meet you,” she said briskly.
“Likewise,” Ivan replied.
When Jessica was gone, the two men fell into each other’s arms and spent the rest of the day fucking.
Two weeks later, Brian was studying when he heard the knock at his door. He got up to answer it and saw that it was Jessica. He grinned, “I was just thinking about you.”
“Uh huh,” Jessica said. She hesitated a second at the door and Brian leaned forward to kiss her neck. She tolerated it for a few moments, then pushed him away. “Stop it.”
The smile faded from his face. “What’s wrong?”
“We need to talk,” Jessica said.
She stepped inside and sat down on the futon. Brian stood above her for a moment, then lowered his hand onto her breast. He caressed her nipple through the thin fabric and she moaned softly. Then she opened her eyes wide and pushed his hand aside. “Brian, quit it. I mean it.”
Brian frowned and sat down next to her. “I’m sorry. You’re just too fucking sexy. I can’t keep my hands off you.”
Jessica gave him a look. “I don’t think this is working out.”
Brian stared at her. He had never been dumped in his entire life. “What are you talking about? You don’t like me anymore?”
“I like you,” Jessica said grudgingly. “And you’re…amazing in bed. It’s just that…”
“What?”
Jessica lowered her eyes. She couldn’t tell him about the rumors she had heard, the rumors she now knew to be true. She couldn’t tell him about how people pointed and whispered about her behind her back. She had thought it was all an awful lie for a long time. She was so blinded by her attraction for Brian that she didn’t listen to reason. Then two days ago, she saw Brian kissing Ivan in the park and all the lies had fallen apart. “Nothing. It’s just…nothing.”
“I see,” Brian said quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Jessica told him. She looked up at Brian and remembered the passion with which he had kissed the older man. They appeared to be two people deeply in love.
“So am I,” he replied.
Ivan was sitting in his office looking over a student’s doctoral thesis when he heard the knock on the door. He tossed the paper inside and ran to open the door. Brian was standing there, his face flushed, a sheepish grin on his face. “I was trying to study,” Brian said. “But all I could think about was fucking you.”
A slow smile spread across Ivan’s face and he stopped caring that Brian had spoken loud enough for his colleague next door to hear him. “Get in here,” Ivan ordered.
Ivan shut the door behind Brian. Just the sight of this boy was enough to cause a tightening of his underwear. He loved the way Brian said the word “fuck.” But then again, he loved everything about Brian.
Brian shoved Ivan against his desk and their mouths met. When Brian stuck his tongue in Ivan’s mouth, Ivan swore he could feel his tongue on every inch of his body. And soon, his tongue was on every inch of his body, running up and down his chest, licking the underside of his penis. Anna had never given Ivan head before, but Ivan had experienced it from several male escorts over the years, and none of them were nearly as good as Brian.
Ivan came in Brian’s mouth, and the shot of fluid knocked him onto the floor. Brian lay on the ground of Ivan’s office, breathing hard and giddy. He loved the taste of Ivan’s cum and the way it felt going down his throat. He had been trying to program in his room, and he kept feeling that white liquid going down his throat. He knew he wouldn’t be able to program another line if he didn’t find Ivan.
Brian’s thoughts strayed to Jessica for a moment. He had lusted after her, but it hadn’t been the same. With Ivan, there was something more. Love? No, he didn’t think so. Maybe it was Respect. He definitely felt a profound respect for this man that was unmatched by anything he had felt in his life.
Ivan was unzipping Brian’s pants and he gripped the carpeting with his fingers. Brian watched Ivan’s mouth working his dick and moaned with pleasure. He remembered that first day when Ivan made him come in that restaurant and how wonderful that had been. Since that day, Brian and Ivan had been drawing progressively closer. They were so involved in each other that neither one took any pains to hide the relationship. Often they were seen holding hands or making out in a public place. As a result, Brian’s new girlfriend abruptly broke up with him and Ivan’s colleagues had started giving him funny looks. But Anna was oblivious, so it was all okay.
Brian screamed as he came harder than he ever had before. He laced his fingers through Ivan’s gray hair and gripped his scalp. His head hit the floor and he thought he was going to pass out.
Ivan’s hand was on his cheek. “Brian? Are you all right?”
Brian grinned. “Oh, fuck yeah.”
They rezipped their pants and straightened out their shirts. Ivan sat on his desk and Brian tenderly did his tie. They stared into each other’s eyes, then kissed again.
“I want to live with you,” Brian said. “This isn’t enough. A fuck here, a fuck there. It’s not enough.”
“I can’t leave Anna,” Ivan sighed. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest. He wanted more than anything to live with Brian. It would be wonderful to wake up in the morning and see this boy lying next to him instead of that vile woman.
“Why not?” Brian pouted. “Why not, Ivan? I don’t understand. You don’t love her.”
“She’s needs me,” Ivan explained.
Brian lowered his eyes. “I need you.”
Brian’s words were music to his ears. For a moment, Ivan felt so happy, he thought he might cry. If not for Anna. Anna was always messing things up. “I’m sorry it has to be this way.”
“I told you I’d kill her for you,” Brian offered.
“No!” Ivan snapped. “Please, don’t! Promise me you won’t hurt Anna! Promise me, Brian.”
A dark look passed over Brian’s face. Ivan remembered they way he had felt when he had seen Brian kissing his girlfriend before she had left him. He had nearly flown into a jealous rage. “I promise,” Brian agreed grudgingly.
They kissed again for what seemed like an eternity, and when they separated, all the negative feelings had faded. Ivan opened the door for Brian to leave, but grabbed him for one last kiss before that. As Brian drifted down the hallway and out of the building, Ivan looked up and saw that Will Donovan had been watching the whole scene, his face pale and his eyes wide.
“Ivan,” Will said, clearing his throat. “Do you…do you mind if I have a word with you in your office.”
Ivan wanted to slam the door in Will’s face, but instead he said, “All right. Come on in, Will.”
Will was a dignified member of the math department. He and Ivan had been colleagues for years and had always been on good terms. They weren’t close, but they were certainly friends.
“Ivan,” Will said, once they were seated in Ivan’s office. “How long have we known each other?”
“About thirty years, give or take,” Ivan replied.
“Can I speak freely?”
“Go ahead.”
“Ivan, what the hell are you doing?” Will asked. “I mean it, what are you doing?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“That boy,” Will hissed. “Everyone on campus sees you carrying on with him. Ivan, this really goes a bit beyond immoral.”
“He’s eighteen,” Ivan said. “He’s an adult.”
“You’re a married man!” Will pointed out. “What about Anna? Does she know?”
“She knows nothing.”
“Are you…I mean, you’re having…you and that boy are…”
“His name is Brian,” Ivan said coldly. “Just so you don’t have to refer to him as that boy.”
“Everyone in the hallway can hear the two of you,” Will told him. “Everyone knows what going on. It’s disgusting, Ivan. And to be honest, it’s a disgrace to the university. I wouldn’t be surprised if they asked for your resignation.”
“My resignation!” Ivan exclaimed. “Why? Because I’ve fallen in love? I guess that isn’t allowed for professors.”
“Fallen in love!” Will repeated. “You can’t be serious, Ivan. He’s just a boy.”
“I love him,” Ivan insisted. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life.”
“You’re over sixty years old,” Will said. “You could be his grandfather. What you’re doing is wrong. I mean it.”
“Will, you’re an arrogant asshole,” Ivan said. “We’ve known each other thirty years, but I guess I never got around to telling you. Now get the fuck out of my office.”
“You said you wanted to speak to me?” Brian asked Anna. He was seated next to her on the couch in the small Petrova apartment. She had left an urgent message on his answering machine the day before.
The lines on Anna’s wide face deepened. “Yes…it’s…it’s about Ivan.”
“Is…is he okay?” Brian asked nervously. The thought of something bad happening to Ivan scared him.
“I don’t know,” Anna said in a choked voice. “I…I think he’s having an affair.”
Brian’s face paled. “Really? Why do you say that?”
“There are a lot of clues,” Anna whispered. “Little things.”
He remembered Ivan’s words: My Anna has a terrible temper. If she finds out what’s going on between the two of us, there’s no telling what she’ll do.
Brian’s reply had been: Let me kill her for you.
He had been half-serious in his offer. Brian wasn’t a murderer, but he hated Anna with a passion that equaled his love for Ivan. Brian couldn’t help feeling insulted and angry that Ivan could allow this charade of a marriage to continue. How could he pretend to love this disgusting woman?
“What kind of clues?” Brian asked.
“He talks on the phone in a secretive voice,” Anna said. “Usually I can’t hear him, but once I heard him say he wanted to…to fuck her.”
“That’s terrible,” Brian commented, suppressing a smile.
“Sometimes he sneaks out in the middle of the night,” she went on. “He thinks I don’t know, but I do. And also, he’s been acting…different somehow.” She lowered her voice, “Whoever this girl is, I…I think he’s in love with her.”
With that, Anna burst into tears and fell into Brian’s arms. He tried to comfort her the best he could, but she refused his help.
“Tell me,” she begged. “You must know something! You two are so close…he must have talked to you about it!”
You fucking cunt. I wish you’d drop dead. “He never mentioned a word to me, I swear,” Brian said.
Anna sniffled loudly. “He’s going to leave me, I know it.”
“Ivan will never leave you,” Brian told her, wincing at the truth in his words. Ivan would never separate from his wife of thirty years. The only way to get Anna out of the picture would be to slice her chest open and let her bleed for a while. Brian had a knife in his pocket, and for a moment he was sorely tempted.
“Do you really think so?” Anna asked, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I know so.”
“That slut,” Anna growled. “The fucking bitch. She’s probably twenty years old and has tits like rocks. If I get my hands on her, they’ll need her dental records to identify the body.”
“Now calm down,” Brian said. “Maybe she’s as much of a victim in all this as you are.”
“I don’t care,” Anna said dully. “Nobody touches my Ivan and lives to tell about it.”
Brian and Ivan had been together for two months. Two of the best months of Brian’s life. Brian’s remarkable good looks and charm usually allowed him to get any woman he desired, but he had never imaged such happiness would come in the arms of this handsome, silver-hared man. When Brian went to sleep each night, he could only think about fucking Ivan and the feel of Ivan’s hands on his dick.
When they got back to Ivan’s house at the end of an evening, it was all Brian could do to keep from pulling Ivan into the bushes for one last blow job. Ivan might not have minded, but Brian was worried. Anna seemed like she had a screw loose.
Brian waited for Ivan to fit the key into the lock of his door. “Do you want to come in for a drink?” Ivan offered.
“What about Anna?”
“Anna’s asleep.”
“Are you sure?”
Ivan frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
Brian shook his head. “Okay, I’m being paranoid. Forget it.”
The two men stepped inside the house. Ivan took Brian’s jacket and hung up his own as well. The house was deathly silent. Ivan leaned forward and pressed his lips against Brian’s.
“You son of a bitch!”
The scream shook the room. Ivan and Brian jumped away from each other to see Anna standing in her housecoat holding a gun. She had the gun pointed at Brian.
“Anna,” Ivan whispered. “Anna, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” Anna shrieked. “You don’t know the meaning of the word sorry, you fucking prick!” She shook the gun at Brian. “And you…you let me cry, all the time knowing that you were the one fucking my husband.”
Brian just stared at her silently. He was afraid to say anything. He didn’t know what this woman was capable of.
“Anna,” Ivan said. “Please don’t do something you’ll regret.”
“Tell me you’ll stop seeing him,” Anna ordered. “Tell me you’ll never speak to him again.”
Ivan shook his head. “I can’t promise that, Anna. Brian and I are in love.”
Brian instantly sensed this was the worst thing Ivan could have said. Anna’s hand began trembling as she stared at Brian with more intense hatred than he had ever seen in his life. Brian heard the gun go off a fraction of a second before he felt the bullet rip through his chest and his body give way beneath him. Then everything went black.
Ivan watched in disbelief as Brian hit the floor. Through all Anna’s threats, he had never believed she would actually do anything. Ivan ran over to Brian’s body and saw the blood spreading across his shirt and pooling beneath him. “Brian,” he whispered tearfully. “Brian, please speak to me.”
Anna was still trembling. She dropped the gun and took a step back. “Oh, god…”
“Brian!” Ivan screamed at the top of his lungs. Tears sprung into his eyes. It was no use. He was dead.
Ivan stood up, his shirt and hands wet with blood. He picked up the gun from the floor and glared at his wife. “You bitch,” he hissed. “You killed him. You killed the only person I ever loved.”
Anna took another step back. “I…I thought you loved me,” she stammered.
“I never loved you!” Ivan spat. “I tolerated you. You could never have given me half of what Brian did. You are nothing. You are less than nothing.”
“I’m sorry!” Anna sobbed. “I didn’t mean to…I was angry…”
Ivan looked back at Brian’s bleeding body lying on the floor. “Oh, god,” he sobbed. “He’s dead. He’s fucking dead.”
Ivan shook his head, then pointed the gun at his temple and pulled the trigger.
The sound of the gunshot pulled Brian out of the black haze that had surrounded him. He opened his eyes and could see Ivan lying on the floor with Anna sobbing over his body. There were bits of brain and skull all over the floor and Brian knew exactly what had happened. Ivan was dead.
Brian saw the pool of blood forming beneath him and realized he was dying himself. If he didn’t do something soon, this fucking cunt who didn’t know how to do anything besides swing a gun around would have killed them both. He couldn’t let that happen. For Ivan’s sake.
He tried to speak, but his lungs were clogged with blood. A burst of blood spurted from his lips and mixed with the liquid dripping from his chest. “Anna,” he managed.
The bitch looked up. She was covered with blood and seemed to be in a daze. Her face was wet with tears.
“Anna,” he repeated. “Please…call 911.”
She just stared at him.
“I know you didn’t mean to shoot me,” Brian said, trying to sound calm. “I understand. But please…I’m going to die if you don’t call for an ambulance right now.”
Anna wasn’t getting it. She didn’t budge an inch.
“Call a fucking ambulance!” Brian screamed with his last ounce of strength.
Somehow, this got through to her. Anna stood up and went to the phone to call 911. Brian allowed himself to pass out on the floor.