The worst thing about Will is that he’s gotten me completely addicted to the Nintendo Wii. I was a really big Nintendo addict when I was a kid, but I somehow weaned myself off of it over the years. But then I saw Will playing with the Wii and I felt drawn to it almost unbearably. When he invited me to play, I couldn’t refuse.
Fast forward to months later, I pretty much play every chance I get. I don’t have a Wii console at home, but Will ordered an extra controller for me, and he’s usually around any time I feel an urge to play. Usually it’s Super Mario. He’s possibly as big an addict as I am. I mean, he owns the damn thing.
Sometimes I worry that Will is canceling other plans to play Wii games with me. Like today is Sunday and when I called him, he sounded a little out of breath, like maybe he was on his way out. He told me to come on over, but then when I showed up, he smelled like sunscreen. I doubt he would have put on sunscreen to play Nintendo. He claimed he was out earlier, which I guess I believe.
So anyway, today we’re playing a game where we have to capture little multicolored balls that are hidden all over the screen. It’s surprisingly fun. We’re working together as a team, and both getting pretty into it. “There’s one under the lamp!” Will is yelling at me. “Get it! Get it! It’s running away! Fuck!”
“I’ve got him! Don’t you fucking run away!” I scream.
“The red one! Get the red one!!!”
“Fuck!!!!”
Like I said, we’re both really into it.
After we’ve cleared the level, I’ve actually almost worked up a sweat from bouncing up and down on the couch and screaming at the screen. Will glances at his watch, “Wanna order a pizza for dinner?”
“Hawaiian?”
“Damn straight.” Will and I both love Hawaiian style pizza, which is pizza with pineapple and ham. It’s not as popular in Manhattan, but most places will make it up for us if we ask. “One more level and I’ll order it?”
I nod but just as Will is loading the next level, I hear the lock to the front door turning. I freeze. “Is that Jude?” I whisper.
Will shrugs. “Yeah, I’d imagine.”
“Shit,” I say. I toss my controller on the couch, grab my purse, and take off like a rabbit in the direction of the bathroom. Will’s cracking up at me, but I don’t care. There is no way I’m letting Jude see me like this.
Safely inside the bathroom, I check out the damage. It’s worse than I thought. I’m wearing my glasses, of course, and have no make-up on. My yellow hair is pulled back into a messy bun held together with a spider clip. And I’m wearing these awful baggy shorts and T-shirt, which I never would have worn if I had thought there was any chance Jude would be coming home. He never is home on Sunday.
I take my hair out of the clip and shake it out sexily. Slightly better. I pull off my glasses and grab my black eyeliner. I’ve given my eyes a nice smoky look and applied a layer of lipstick when Jude knocks on the door. “Libby darling,” he says. “I hate to hurry you, but I really need to use the loo.”
I shove my glasses into my purse and yank the door open, flashing Jude a charming smile. He kisses me on the lips then hurries past me into the bathroom. When I come into the living room, Will is smirking at me. Or at least, I think he is. I can’t see his face very clearly.
“Hey Libby,” Will says. He holds up his hand. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Ho ho, very funny.” I have no idea how many fingers he’s holding up. His hand just looks like a big blob.
I hear a flush and Jude saunters out of the bathroom, wrapping his hands around my waist from behind. I feel his lips on my neck and I shiver. “Mmm,” Jude says. “You smell yummy.”
What do you say to that? Why does he always talk about me like I’m food? “Um, thanks.”
“Would you fancy dinner out?” Jude asks, spinning me around.
“Um,” I say. “Will and I were going to get a pizza, actually.”
“Pizza?” Jude makes a face. He has very high brow taste in food. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him eat a pizza or a burger. We’ve definitely never been to McDonald’s. “I don’t think so.”
“It’s okay, Libby,” Will says. “Go have fun with Jude. I’ll make myself something in the house.”
Except the thing is, I really wanted Hawaiian pizza. As crazy as I am about Jude, I actually prefer the idea of hanging out with Will in his apartment, in cozy clothes and my glasses, and pigging out on pizza. But what can I do? I can’t say no to my boyfriend.
“All right,” I say.
Jude looks me up and down. “Maybe we can pop in your apartment first so you can change.”
Maybe I should be insulted, but I’m mostly relieved. I didn’t want to go out to a restaurant dressed like this.
“By the way,” Jude says. “There’s a party at our firm next Friday. You’re free, aren’t you?”
I smile. I love the idea that Jude just assumes I’ll be his date to the party. It just shows that we’re really settling in as a couple. “Yes, of course.”
“Fantastic,” Jude says. He kisses me again. “I’ll have the loveliest date at the party.”
I’m about to say something back, something simultaneously sexy and witty, when my thoughts are interrupted by Will starting the Nintendo back up. “Sorry,” he mumbles.
“Are you going to the party, Will?” I ask him.
Will glances at Jude. “We have to, don’t we?”
Jude nods. “Afraid so, mate.”
“Then, yes.”
“Have you a date?” Jude asks him.
“Doesn’t look like it, no.”
Jude’s face lights up. “Libby, perhaps you can fix Will up?”
“Great idea,” Will says, with mock enthusiasm. “Maybe Martha is available?”
Jude, who is completely clueless, nods eagerly, “Yes, Libby, do you think she’d be free?”
“I’ll, um, have to check on that,” I mumble.
“Yeah, you do that,” Will says. “Because if I can’t go with Martha, I don’t want to go with anyone.”
Jude grins. “It sounds like somebody’s got a crush.”
It’s all I can do to keep from bursting out laughing.
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In the time Jude and I have been dating, I have given him dozens of blow jobs. I have to confess, it’s not my absolute favorite thing in the world. Not to say that I don’t enjoy it, because I do, if the mood is right. But with Jude, there isn’t much build-up. We get into the bedroom and he immediately unzips his pants and I’m expected to go at it.
I admit, Jude does have a really nice penis. Or cock, Johnson, whatever… I never know what to call it exactly, none of the names seem “sexy” to me. He has a name for his, actually, but I’d rather not say what it is because it’s kind of weird. All right, it’s Mr. Sparkles. What kind of name is Mr. Sparkles for a penis? I have no idea how he came up with it. I’m afraid to ask.
Jude is uncut and pretty long and thick. It’s great when we’re having sex, but not so good for oral sex, just because it’s so big, I keep choking. I’m going to sound like a huge slut if I say I’ve managed to get good at suppressing my gag reflex, but Jude is big enough that it’s still a problem. But it’s a nice penis. It’s sexy. For a penis.
Anyway, I hate to complain or anything, but as I was saying, I’ve given him dozens of blow jobs, but he hasn’t once eaten me out. That just seems a little bit unfair to me. Truthfully, I’ve been afraid to ask him, but he hasn’t offered or made any motions like he wants to do it, so I just assumed he wasn’t into it. Which would be fine except for the fact that I’ve given him oral sex so many times.
So after I give Jude a blow job tonight and he’s lying in bed next to me, smiling with satisfaction, I run my fingers up his abdomen. “So,” I say playfully. “When’s my turn?”
“Turn for what?” Jude asks blankly.
Is it possible he’s that dense? The guy’s a lawyer. He’s been with lots of women. How could he not know what I want?
“I thought,” I begin, “maybe you’d like to… well, that you’d be able to… you know…”
Jude raises his eyebrows.
I take a deep breath. “I like oral sex too, you know.”
“I know,” he says, grinning. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”
Oh, great. He thinks I mean that I like giving oral sex.
“I do like that,” I say quickly. “It’s just that… I also like getting oral sex… also.”
A shadow passes over Jude’s face. “Oh, that?”
Yes, that. “Well, I just thought…”
“I’m sorry, darling,” Jude says. “I don’t do that. I’m just not terribly excited by it.”
What?
“You don’t do it at all?” I ask, astonished.
“I don’t really like it.” Jude shrugs. “Is it a big deal?”
Yes, it’s a big deal! How could he refuse to give me oral sex when I’ve been doing it for him for months? What is he—some kind of sex primadonna? “Well, I like it,” I say.
Jude shrugs. “I’m sorry, love. But you wouldn’t want me to do something I don’t enjoy, would you?”
Yes. “No.”
It seems like it’s hopeless. If Jude and I get married, I will never get eaten out ever again. Can I live with that? I guess so. I wonder if I could somehow get out of giving blow jobs then. Probably better not try till we’re at least engaged.
Apparently, sexy time is officially over because Jude gets up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth. I lie in bed, debating whether or not I should try to quickly masturbate. Ultimately, I don’t really have time though. Jude comes out of the bathroom and lies next to me in bed with a plop.
“Hey,” I say, “do you know any women at your firm named Michelle?”
I know I told Will I wouldn’t tell anyone about his crush on Michelle, but technically, I’m not. I’m just inquiring innocently.
“Yes, I believe so,” Jude says. “One of the paralegals. Why do you ask?”
“Do you think she’ll be at the party?”
“I’d wager yes,” Jude says, now clearly intrigued. “Why do you want to know?”
I bite my lip. I guess I can tell him. It’s just Jude, Will’s best friend, it’s not like I’m telling everyone in the universe. “Will told me he’s in love with a woman from work named Michelle,” I confess.
Jude frowns. “Did he really?”
“It sounds like he’s really crazy about her.” I study Jude’s face. “Why? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Jude says. “It’s just… I know the sort of girl Will fancies and Michelle’s not really it. But that doesn’t mean anything, I suppose.”
“Trust me,” I say. “He’s head over heels for her.”
“Interesting…”
“In fact,” I go on, “I was thinking that maybe if they’re both at that party, we might be able to help them out a bit. Maybe plant some seeds of romance.”
Jude laughs. “You’re quite the little matchmaker. Right. Well, tell me what you’d like me to do to help.”
I haven’t got any kind of definitive plan, but I decided that I’m going to do what it takes to help Will get together the woman of his dreams. After all, it seems like he absolutely adores this Michelle woman. As much as I love hanging out with Will, it would be selfish for me to want him all to myself.
Really, I’m incredibly excited about this. I can’t wait to see the look on his face.